


forever changed (nothing ever stays the same)

by ladyofdecember



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon), The SpongeBob Musical - Various/Anthony & Coulton/Jarrow
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst and Feels, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-04 00:29:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13352694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyofdecember/pseuds/ladyofdecember
Summary: Post-musical. Spongebob and Squidward have trouble dealing with the aftermath of the world almost ending and "going back to normal" just doesn't seem possible.





	forever changed (nothing ever stays the same)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I'm Not a Loser](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12650598) by [fishkybuns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishkybuns/pseuds/fishkybuns). 



> This is kind of a mess, mostly because I wasn't sure if I wanted to write their sea forms or their actors or just combine the two and write about living under the sea. Also, the whole bit of working out the dialogue and continuity between the show and the musical and the level of knowledge people have about the fandom versus those that only recently watched the musical was proving to be difficult. But hey, as Dan Harmon says, you should never write to write perfectly. You should just write what you have inside you and whether it's garbage or it's good, at least you accomplished the most important thing which was to write something. 
> 
> Hopefully, you guys like it. I settled on an AU where they are humans but the story is still, of course, based off the musical's events. So think normal humans, living in a normal city (not beneath the sea) sort of AU. I also wanna say that I recently read "I'm Not A Loser" by fishkybuns and it was just so incredibly well-written that I was inspired to write my own little AU-esque thing. So I of course had to tag that work so everyone not familiar with it goes and reads it as well! <3
> 
> ...
> 
> "Forever changed,  
> Forever changed,  
> Nothing ever stays the same"  
> \--Forever Changed by Carrie Underwood

Staring out in his window into the evening light, the glow of the sunset fading off far into the distance, Spongebob felt conflicted. On one hand, he had helped save the town, the impending doom was averted and all of their lives were safe. The citizens of Bikini Bottom were free to continue living their lives as before, safe from any hazardous weather conditions or dangerous life-threatening situations, at least for a while anyway.

So why was it he felt so... empty? He should be happy to just get back to the normal day to day.

The sun continued it's descent below the horizon and soon a familiar figure wandered into his eye line. His neighbor, co-worker and long time “friend” Squidward Tentacles had ventured out to his mailbox to retrieve the mail. 

Something inside Spongebob seemed to break as he continued watching the man who was seemingly in his own little world. Finally, he tore himself away from the window and headed out his own front door and into the yard.

Squidward was flipping through various envelopes, a slight grimace on his face as was entirely focused on the mail. Upon the sound of his neighbor's front door shutting however, all attention was soon focused on the younger man as he quickly glanced up.

“Hi Squidward.” He said quietly, standing at the edge of his lawn and staring pensively.

All tension seemed to leave the towering man's face as he took in the sight of him, a more glassy expression playing across it now. He was slow to respond, eyes fixed on the sight before him. “Hi.”

The breeze began to pick up a bit, leaves rustling through the autumn trees providing a nice soundtrack to their awkward and tentative behavior. It was as though neither man knew what to say but neither wanted to walk away. 

A normal day, just like any other, a normal activity between two neighbors and yet, something seemed very different today.

It had just been last night that the volcano eruption was stopped, many residents of the town taking the day to just relax and be thankful. Their boss, Mr. Krabs, had even given the two of them the day off in an uncharacteristic act of kindness. Though Spongebob assumed he just wanted to close the restaurant so he could spend the day with his daughter, it was still very nice.

It had been last night that Spongebob had shared a hasty and completely impromptu embrace with one Squidward Tentacles. While everyone was celebrating life, living and just generally being swept up into a wave of ecstasy in the moment, the two of them had been focused on nothing more than one another.

In a rare moment of friendship and closeness, the two had reached out towards one another and embraced tightly in celebration. The whole atmosphere had become euphoric with many crying out tears of joy and some even blowing those annoying noisemakers you get at parties sometimes. There was a definite buzz in the air of joy and relief and the closeness of one each other really punctuated that.

As soon as the hug had begun however, it seemed to be over in a flash, the older man quickly stepping back with a cough (or was it a scoff?) and a grimace sliding back into it's proper place. “Well, goodnight.” Was all he'd said before heading off in the general direction of their neighborhood, down the street and around the corner into the darkness.

Spongebob had stared after him, in a state of shock and wonder before being dragged off in the opposite direction by both Patrick and Sandy. Though, the moment had stayed in his thoughts the rest of the night, never once letting the man forget the warm touch and scent of the man that lingered.

Now, here in the yard, it seemed the older man was tempted to escape in much the same way as before as the two continued staring at each other in near silence.

Spongebob cleared his throat, nervous and yet willing himself to stay planted right there on the spot. “Squidward, how did you sleep? Good? Well?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh... good.”

“Uh-huh.”

Well, the man didn't seem to be angry that he was bugging him when he was simply attempting to retrieve his mail though, he supposed, he hadn't seen the man all day. It occurred to the blonde that this may just be the longest he'd ever gone without interacting with him. He wondered if that was the reason he seemed willing to actually talk to him or if it was something else.

Indeed, Squidward didn't seem to be in as foul a mood as he usually was, instead he seemed rather docile, patient and willing to hear the man out rather than rushing inside with an angry “Leave me alone!” thrown over his shoulder, punctuated with the slamming of a door.

With nothing else really of substance to say and the blonde unwilling to broach the subject he actually wanted to discuss, he began fiddling with his sweater vest awkwardly.

Squidward's eyes moved towards his house and back to the shorter man in rapid succession. Tightening his grip on his letters, he chuckled in a most peculiar way. “Well, I... have to be getting back.”

Without waiting for a response, the turquoise haired musician quickly walked back up the path to his front door and headed inside, leaving Spongebob to stare after him in defeat.

Why didn't he just tell him? Just talk to him about it? Why couldn't he ever be brave?

Spongebob sighed and turned to go back inside his house.

On the other side of the door, Squidward rested against it, letting his mind turn over and over the words he'd wanted to say, the explanation he'd practiced the night before and all day long alone in his living room.

He was a failure and at this rate, he'd never get a chance to tell the man. Typical. Typical, dull Squidward, never able to take control of his own destiny. He should have said something.

…

Later that night, when the stars were out and blinking brilliantly like a zillion jewels in the night sky, Spongebob was sitting, still awake, in his living room armchair. His cup of tea in hand, he stared off at a far corner of his unkempt living room near Gary's bed where the cat sat sleeping soundly.

It was nearly midnight and while he was scheduled to open at The Krusty Krab the next day, the man just couldn't will his ever-anxious mind to relax enough to sleep. He held the small mug of liquid in his hands tightly, comforted by the warmth but too distracted to drink.

There was a light rapping at his front door though it wasn't loud enough to disturb Gary who continued sleeping heavily. If it hadn't sounded a second time, much louder, the man would have probably just disregarded it as the wind. But no, that was definitely someone knocking. But at this time of night? 

Spongebob quickly got up and made his way confidently to the front door, certain that the only people who would be disturbing him so late would be Patrick or Sandy. And if it was this late, it must be important.

Swinging the door open wide, a small smile ready to greet his friends, he was shocked at the scene before him.

Squidward stood there, looking timid and all at once unsure of his actions as soon as the frycook had opened the door. Panic set aflame across his face. “Uh... hi.”

“Hi Squidward.” The blonde said in complete surprise.

Straightening his shirt with a determined tug, the man straightened up to his full height of six foot four. “Look Spongebob, I have something to tell you... “

And he let the thread of conversation drop there, his eyes darting wildly between the younger man and the inside of his home.

With realization, the cook straightened as well. “Oh, uh, well do you wanna come in?”

“No. No, look I... I just need to say this. I need to get it all out and then... I'll go.”

The man looked so tired with some pretty bad bags under his eyes, though Spongebob knew he probably didn't look much better. Neither of them had gotten much sleep over the last several days and with good reason. It was hard to go to bed when you thought the world might be ending. It was just one of those things.

Squidward continued, seeming to push past any reservations he might have had and gesturing wildly with his lanky limbs. “Through all the chaos the last few days, when it seemed like we were all gonna die, I had some... realizations. I meant to tell you all this, you see, before when things were... well, when things seemed bleak. I planned it all out and figured just what I would say to you when the time came, when the... the doomsday clock ran out.”

Blinking in confusion, Spongebob crossed his arms over his chest, fighting off the slight autumn chill that was creeping around them as he continued listening.

“So I had it all planned out and then I... I just didn't.” The curly haired man frowned, glancing away and down at his shoes before bringing his attention back again. “You put a lot of things off when you think you have tomorrow. Ya know? You just think, 'Oh, one day... ' and then one day never comes. And you ran out of time, ya know? That's... that's how I felt when I heard about the volcano. I tried to focus on the show and getting that situated so that maybe we could all evacuate. Then that fell through and... I didn't know what to do. And before I knew it, I couldn't come tell you how I felt because... you... you were gone!”

He took a minute now and stared into Spongebob's eyes, trying to convey his message since words seemed to be failing him.

Spongebob frowned at the memory. “Well yeah, I had to... me and Sandy had to go up the mountain-”

“Look, don't interrupt! Just... listen, please?”

The blonde blinked at the intensity of the man, trying and failing to remember a time when he'd last seen him so worked up about something. Could it be the volcano had affected him more than he'd let on? Spongebob was sure everyone was worried about it, even downright distraught though Squidward had seemed slightly less concerned, always having a pessimistic view of life in general. He frowned at him, feeling concerned by the emotional volatility he was displaying here at a quarter past midnight on his doorstep.

“I like you Spongebob, probably a lot more than you could ever understand. I know I try to cover that up. It's dumb. I just thought I'd have more time to tell you about it, someday in the future, I dunno. I know that now we do have time, obviously, everything's fine. But it's not fine. Things are back to normal but they aren't, they can't be. How can they be?”

He shifted to glance out towards the street and the various buildings in the background. “Bikini Bottom was saved, huzzah. But... this whole experience made me think about how short life is and how it can be over in a second. I know I always pretended like I knew that but... I guess I never really put thought into what that means.”

Spongebob's eyes widened at the words coming out of his friend's mouth. Could it be that he had misread the man completely? He'd never thought in his wildest dreams he actually liked him. Sure, he had an inkling he enjoyed his company more than he let on but this... this was something different.

Squidward turned back to the shorter man and shrugged. “So I wanted to tell you, now, since I was too much of a coward to do it before. The town was saved and everything's back to normal but I... I can't go 'back to normal'.” 

With another shrug, he turned to go, heading diligently back across the lawn towards his stone home.

With panic filling him and his heart thudding against his chest, Spongebob threw himself out into the chilly night air, intent on following the quickly retreating man. “Wait! Squidward! Wait!”

The man, already back to his normal facade of a grimace, spun on his heel and held up both hands in front of him. “Oh, don't do that. No, look, you don't have to say anything to me. I just... I wanted to tell you my peace and... that's all, really. Please don't.”

Heading to his doorstep, intending to put as much distance between them as he could, Squidward hoped the younger man would just drop this whole thing. 'What had been the purpose of even telling him if he didn't want a response?' He wondered to himself just as he was about to close the door.

Spongebob stood still in that same fixed spot, eyes as big as saucers as he pressed onward despite him. “Squidward, I... I wanted to tell you the same thing. But I... I didn't have the courage. I thought that maybe you knew already and just didn't care?”

Hesitating in the doorway, something about the man's tone prevented him from retreating inside as he'd wanted. “Knew what?” He questioned a bit apprehensively.

“That I was in love with you.”

Squidward gripped the wooden door, fingers itching to slam it shut and escape. He surprised himself by stepping back out into the cold air and shutting the door behind him instead. Careful steps down the porch, growing closer to the five-foot-four, ever-youthful man standing just short of crushing his gardenias, Squidward fixed him with a scrutinizing look. “Really?”

Spongebob smiled sadly and shrugged. “I had the same problem as you. I realized that we didn't have much time and I wanted to say something, wanted to lay it all out there. And then... I couldn't. Even after we got back and there was time, plenty of it! I still... I just couldn't. I... don't know how I'm even doing it now.”

The two stood there on the lawn, each just staring at one another and blind to anything else in the night around them, which due to the late hour wasn't much.

“There's plenty of time now, I suppose. Turns out, world's not ending after all.” Squidward shrugged, a wry smile on his face.

Beaming up at the man, he nodded energetically. “Good thing too.”

“Oh?”

“Well yeah, we have Krabby Patties to sell in a few hours!”

Rolling his eyes, Squidward turned to head back inside. “Of course, who could forget?”

“Squidward?”

“Huh?” He poked his head back out around the doorframe.

“Goodnight. And I'll uh... see you at breakfast?” He asked shyly, a trait that Squidward always found endearing.

“See you then.” He said with an actual genuine smile and a nod.


End file.
